Saturday, 6 October 2012

Funeral (and embalming) for a Friend

I embalmed an old friend today. She was very dear to me. A special friend who shared some of my greatest triumphs. The sort of memories you cherish until your dying day. Strictly speaking she died over ten years ago, but since then I've kept her safe and snug in my garage. There's barely been any decomposition. She really was a mainstay in my life and no matter how bad things got she was always behind me - quite literally - as moving a guitar amp out front of the stage would result in terrible ear-clutching, face-grimacing, fingernails-down-a-blackboard electrical feedback. What? You didn't realise I was talking about my dear old Peavey Bandit combo amp? What on earth did ........... Oh never mind. I don't want to know.

As it happens (sorry, did that sound too much like Jimmy Savile?), it was clear-out-the-garage time again and I finally decided I was going to do the decent thing and dispose of her mortal remains. I even got as far as putting her in the car to take to the dump, where I planned on saying some moving words before dropping her respectfully into a skip. Then I got a great idea. I carried her back into the house, ripped her guts out (anyone need a 12"  24 Ohmn speaker?) and installed a plasma globe inside the hollow carcass of her shapely form. Now she's more beautiful than she ever was before, arcing jagged bolts of lighting through the black mesh of the speaker grill. I think I may just have created an after-life for amplifiers.

Chow-a-mama
(trying out some farewell salutations for the blog. I've quite a few to get through so bear with me)

Allan

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